Hydraulics are brutal. Here are my top reasons you should stay away from hydraulics at all costs.
10. Hydraulics are dirty. With all that oil everywhere, it gets in your clothes and under your fingernails. Oily hydraulic machines collect dirt and dust like the back of your fridge.
9. Hydraulics are complicated. There are so many valves in some hydraulic systems, it makes as much sense as trying to figure out what’s happening on the circuit board of your computer. Who has time to figure all that out? Not this guy.
8. Hydraulics are inefficient. If you have a hydraulic motor you need to run at, oh, 5 horsepower, your prime mover could require 10 horsepower to make that happen. If your prime mover is a gas engine, it could take 20 horsepower … don’t even get me started.
7. Hydraulics are smelly. Yep, if you work with hydraulics, you’re going to smell like hydraulics. And if you don’t work with hydraulics; trust me, it stinks. Your wife will tell you that you stink, too.
6. Hydraulics are expensive. Step 1: Tell a customer the price of their hydraulic package. Step 2: Listen closely for crickets.
5. Hydraulics is ancient technology. People have been using to hydraulics to do work for eons. Isn’t there something newer and cooler, with a catchy term you can hashtag? #epicquantumactuator
4. Hydraulics are counterintuitive. Seriously, why can’t I lift a bigger load with a bigger pump? Bigger must mean stronger, right? And for the love of Pete, why don’t cylinders extend and retract at the same speed?
3. Hydraulics is a sausage party. Enough said.
2. Hydraulics requires math. If I wanted to do math, I would have been an accountant. To quote every grade nine math student, “Come on! When am I ever going to use this stuff?!”
1. Hydraulics is awesome! Ha! April Fool’s! Hydraulics is the best thing since sliced bread. And trust me, sliced bread is amazeballs. #epic